London-based Danish comedian Sofie Hagen last year premiered her “Bubblewrap” standup/storytelling act. In part of act she read her own fanfiction, written when she was young and hot on a boyband. Hagen self-ironic commentary and further elaborations of teenage (or preteenage?) troubles made one of the finest standup performances I have seen.
I myself have gotten hold on my own young writing. An exercise book in the “Danish” course, where the hand-in would sometimes be my favorite topic: “fristil”, “freestyle”. Here you could select your own topic and let your fantasy run away. One hand-in that I discovered was “Min hverdag” (“My daily life”) from an exercise book from 6th grade (I was perhaps 12 years old), a short story with a self-confident carelessness detailing what has become a common theme in my life: getting late.
Here is my (present) English translation. Enjoy:
My daily life.
I just made a time machine when I got home from school. Yesterday I made a car powered by water, but that broke.
When I was finished with the time machine, I set it to the year 1872, 7 Savile Row, London, England. I went into the time machine and pressed the button which started the time machine. Everything went black. One minute passed, and then suddenly I was standing right in front of Phileas Fogg. He did not seem to be particularly surprised. I turned around, and there was Passepartout. I said hello in Danish. They understood that well, as I had an interpreter machine with me, that I had made a couple of weeks ago. They too said hello. Passepartout stood with a valise. Phileas Fogg and Passepartout went out of the street door and that I did too. That was lucky as they locked the door behind them. I asked if I could come along. Phileas Fogg said yes. We went to the end of Savile Row precisely as in “Around the World in Eighty Days”. But they went further and towards a store. I asked, whether they were not going around the world. Mr. Fogg answered that they had been around the world, so I did not want to play this game anymore. I pressed the button and flew back to the present.
I was a bit annoyed as I did not get around the world. I wanted to try again but then the time machine broke. I could of course have repaired it. I did not want to use the 5 minutes that it would take to repair it, as I had homework to do. I could of course put a robot to do it. But on the other hand: You also need to learn something.
The teacher remarked “Excellent. But where did you get the topic from?” :)
Here is the Danish original slightly edited:
Jeg lavede lige en tidsmaskine, da jeg kom hjem fra skole. I går lavede jeg en bil, der gik på vand. Men den gik i stykker.
Da jeg var færdig med tidsmaskinen, stillede jeg den på året 1872, Saville-row nr. 7 London, England. Jeg gik ind i tidsmaskinen og trykkede på knappen som startede tidsmaskinen. Alt blev sort. Der gik 1 minut, og så pludselig stod jeg lige foran Phileas Fogg. Han så ikke ud til at være særligt overrasket. Jeg vendte mig om, og der stod Passepartout. Jeg sagde goddag på dansk. Det kunne de godt forstå fordi jeg havde en oversættermaskine på mig, som jeg havde lavet for nogle uger siden. De sagde også goddag. Passepartout stod med en vadsæk. Phileas Fogg og Passepartout gik ud af gadedøren og det gik jeg også. Det var heldigt fordi de låste døren efter sig. Jeg spurgte om jeg måtte komme med. Phileas Fogg sagde ja. Vi gik ned for enden af Saville-row, præcis som i “Jorden rundt i 80 dage”. Men de gik videre og over mod en butik. Jeg spurgte, om de ikke skulle jorden rundt. Mr. Fogg svarede, at det havde de været, så jeg gad ikke at lege dette her mere. Jeg trykkede på knappen og jeg fløj tilbage til nutid.
Jeg var lidt sur fordi jeg ikke var kommet jorden rundt. Jeg ville prøve igen, men så gik tidsmaskinen i stykker. Jeg kunne selvfølgelig have repareret den. Jeg gad ikke at bruge de 5 minutter, der skulle til at reparere den, fordi jeg havde lektier for. Jeg kunne selvfølgelig sætte en robot til det. Men på den anden side: man skal jo også lære noget.